i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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