just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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