He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woke up backwards on a recliner
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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