i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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