Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
