Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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