Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
