I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
