Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
