"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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