dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
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Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
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Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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