We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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