No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
