I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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