i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
