My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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