Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
