I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She's the barista slut.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
