I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
