we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
