operation harelip BJ is a go
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
