I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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