whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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