Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
