So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
