this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
