I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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