last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am available for nakedness
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize