i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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