How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
