Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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