You smell like a Billy Joel song
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
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Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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