I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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