she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
