grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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