Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
