goodnight i made you a song goodbye
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
