Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
