somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
