her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
