alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
