I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
