Got a toothbrush?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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