Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
