Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
