Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
COCAINE IS GR8
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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