How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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