My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
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Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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