Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
