Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
