fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
