I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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