so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
