I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize