Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
