so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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