I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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