just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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