Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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