this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
