we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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