we're blogging at a bar
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize