i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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