never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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